The Witch Who Builds Her Own Ladder

You should knowwwwwww, you gotta pump it up! 💪🏼🪩

Hey witches,

I hope you are having a good week so far! If you’re in the US, I hope you’re having a good Thanksgiving weekend. Me? I’ve just been vegging out a bit, resting up from the end of the month work stress and the holiday. I’m also a little sick, so I’ve been adding extra doses of my special honey (it has herbs 🌲) my tea while I watch TV. 

One thing to know about me when it comes to media consumption is that I’m a re-watcher. I like taking the time to dissect something I’ve seen before and trying to find new things. Since I’m sick and being lazy on the couch, I’m taking the time to rewatch a lot of movies. One of the movies I decided to include in this rewatch-a-thon was The Substance. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend watching but I’m not going to get into it with a summary; just go in blind. 

Anyway, this movie has a lot of meaning, the most glaring is the discussion of beauty as currency along with societal expectations. I could go into that, but I want to focus on the self hate part of this movie. There are multiple meanings you can extract from a piece of art, including the stuff I talk about. I wanted to muse on it a little bit while the honey is doing it’s job, both psychoactively and medicinally.

In one way, the movie is about self hatred and how far you can go to hurt yourself. The whole movie is essentially about a person who sacrifices one part of herself to focus on another for the illusion of happiness. She chases the dragon of beauty because she felt it was the only thing going for her, but it’s not something she can keep forever. It’s not about the actual thing, it’s about the transformation that occurs when you think you’re given something that gives you a leg up. For Elizabeth, it was the substance that helped her become Sue.

Maybe for you or someone you know, you can relate this to something tangibly similar in terms of outcome. Something like drinking or doing whatever ritual that makes you feel like a better version of yourself. Something that can make you feel like you’re masking the parts of yourself that you don’t like. Maybe the parts that have aged or you feel are weird? It doesn’t have to be solely a physical or emotional aspect you’re hiding, but it’s the act of hiding it, feeling the need to hide it and like one part is better. Hating parts of ourselves and pushing one part forward over another.

Applying this wisdom to my own life, I realize that I can do more to appreciate myself instead of focusing on things I don’t like about myself. Less dwelling and more living in the moment. I’m still all about growth and changing things you don’t want to fix, but there’s a fine line between dwelling on these things in a healthy and unhealthy manner. 

For example, looking back at older pictures of myself, I definitely realize I was cuter than I thought in that moment. I remember being so filled with insecurities that I didn’t take that much time to truly just enjoy life. I don’t think I’m as cute as I was then, but I’m definitely trying to appreciate what I have while I still have it.

The only constant thing in life is change, so you must take those moments to savor the high points when you can. In relation to this, the way Elisabeth holds herself back, it makes us think of how we wait until some arbitrary thing to be fixed before putting ourselves out there. 

Since this is The Witch Who Builds Her Own Ladder, I want to spin this into something positive. I don’t think we’re all destined to be an ElisaSue. Learn to accept the parts of yourself you feel like you need to hide. Take the time to put yourself out there and try things you haven’t done before. The best way to learn something is to experience it. Take the time to learn about yourself and enjoy the journey. Face the unknown.

Until next time, witches. Take care of yourself and look out for each other.