The Witch Who Builds Her Own Ladder

Hey witches, 

This post is as much for me as it is for you. I am a witch filled with knowledge and power, but like Meghan thee Stallion, sometimes [witches] have bad days. Progress isn’t linear, so sometimes I have to remind myself of these lessons too. It’s one thing to know them but it’s another to make the decision to consciously implement these in your life.

As I said in my first couple posts, there’s internal magic within ourselves that we can tap into. One of those is self awareness. Here, we’re building our own ladder for our wants and needs, and to do that, we sometimes have to do some internal searching, whether it’s what we want to do with our lives, what we’re good at, etc. Anything we need to do as a step towards achieving our goals.

I’m not one to quote Disney Channel Original Movies, or DCOMs if you’re fancy, but Debbie Reynolds character in Halloweentown, she describes magic as “wanting something, and then letting yourself have it.” I think there’s genuine truth to this, in that make our own magic. We ultimately can control what direction we want to go in life and that’s something we all should grow towards. 

That’s something I’m working on myself by starting this blog and doing what I really want to do. I’ve always loved writing but I’ve always felt that it wasn’t good enough or that I had to work towards some arbitrary level of perfection that I couldn’t truly put into words. I’d know it when I’d see it, I previously thought. 

I’ve learned that mindset has set me back and it’s something I’m currently trying to right by writing (insert ba dum tsst sound). Right now, I’m just trying to show up and present my authentic voice, taking baby steps to write at the capacity I’ve been itching to do for years. I hope that it can help make others feel comfortable being themselves too, I know we’re in a trying time but there’s safety in numbers and community connection. It’s important to protect and nurture those authentic connections.

This can be to yourself, to different people, to whatever. Stop beating yourself for other people. If you’re not hurting anyone, you’re allowed to live your life how you want to and be happy. If you’re hurting others, then you should really reconsider what’s missing in your life and what you need to be whole again. It’s not worth it to have that sort of anger at people. If someone tries to mess with you being yourself without being happy, it’s a sign to get out of that situation.

If it’s one thing I’ve seen time and time again from my liberal arts learning is that people try to search for authenticity in all forms. At a baseline level, humans understand the connection with other people as a true want, but not something we can always accomplish naturally. We’re social animals. Sometimes it requires a little work, either within ourselves or finding ways to relate to people, we all have our own different opportunities to improve ourselves in ways that will help us get where we want to go. People will truly value someone who is themselves though, there’s a sense of confidence that emits from someone like that

You shouldn’t apologize either to yourself or others by not fitting into an arbitrary mode. We all have our special skills and strengths. One of the main lessons from this blog is to use your strengths and special skills in your new role to help you get comfortable. It will ultimately lead to success in the new things you’re going to learn. It’s easy to flounder in new things and go into uncharted territory, but please remember that everyone is a beginner at some point. Also I know there’s something within you that sets you apart from other people. Hone into that and use it to get to where you want to be. I think that advice can be used to help you in a lot of situations, situations where maybe you don’t know how to navigate. Have the self awareness to know what makes you stand out and use those things to your advantage. 

If you’re a woman, you’re most likely already socially conditioned to apologize for mundane insignificant things. Stop doing that, it dilutes the things you are actually sorry for and I know that it’s more of a nervous reflex for taking up space. It’s something that I’m also working on or like apologizing multiple times for the same thing. Do it like two to three times at most and call it a day. Again, these are things I’m mainly telling myself but I think it’s something we can all work on together. I think it’s important to be okay with taking up space and that is a part of the path of self-love.

All of these things relate to the need to stop apologizing for being yourself. All of these things relate together. One way to help combat this is mantras. There’s a lot of research out there that repeating positive things can help with stress relief, neuroplasticity, and cognitive function. I’m not one for toxic positivity but finding positive things to tell yourself definitely helps. It’s so easy to have one negative thought and let it continue into an endless spiral that only causes you to feel like nothing goes your way and any sort of effort is futile.

Since watching Maxxxine, I’ve taken the mantra, “I will not accept a life I do not deserve.” It’s a powerful mantra and I think it’s one of the things that helps Maxine keep going in spite of everything she faced. She ultimately knew she didn’t deserve the harassment of her father and took matters into her own hands. It’s a small thing, but I have been feeling more powerful since I’ve been repeating it.

It helps me tap into my inner magic, the strength and resilience I’ve had to make it through all the things I’ve dealt with. I know have that within me but when it’s a resource you’ve had to use early on, your resources can be depleted. Having that continual stress of being in an abusive situation can cause you to be wary and tired and when new stresses arrive you just want to shut down from having this be your life. This mantra helps you remember to keep fighting, even if it’s in small, daily ways to make your life better. It’s a reminder that we’re in a continuous battle, even if it means something different to you.

All of this can seem daunting if you’re not used to this type of thinking or if you’re still on the journey to healing yourself. When you’re taking the time to self-reflect, as I will ask you to do, please find one thing you can focus on. It can be the littlest thing, what matters is the consistency. If you can find one thing to repeat to yourself daily, that’s a step of the right direction. If you can think of one thing you’re grateful for daily, that’s progress too. I used to be caught up in the nuances of things but I’m realizing now, things don’t have to be perfect.

Remember, every small act of self-care and every consistent thought is a conscious spell, building the life you truly want and deserve. I’ve tried my hardest to be my authentic self in all areas of my life, but I especially try to be it here. Our coven is a safe space to be yourself (caveat: I will not be tolerant to intolerance, so don’t start shit). I’ll continue to be me if you continue to be you. Until our next post, witches, be sure to take care of yourself and look out for each other.